Department of Extraterrestrial Relocations Unveils 'Galactic GO’ App, Offering Cosmic Frequent Flyer Points for Self-Deportation

In an initiative that's as cosmic as it is comedic, the Department of Extraterrestrial Relocations (DER) has launched the "Galactic GO" app, inviting undocumented aliens to schedule their own deportations back to the far reaches of the galaxy. Designed to emulate the ease and excitement of a space vacation, the app promises a journey packed with interstellar swagger  minus the earthly return trip.

"It's innovation and absurdity all in one," remarked a shadowy DER representative, whose penchant for mystery seems to match the app's playful anonymity. "Users can enjoy a five-star cosmic farewell, complete with personalized playlists featuring hits from around the universe, and rate their voyage into the void. Who says intergalactic bureaucracy can't be an out-of-this-world experience?"

Test pilots of the app have embraced its quirkily motivating features. Achieve the prestigious "Space Cadet" badge by booking your departure within a light day. Those leaving with exceptional cosmic flair might earn the "Galaxy Visitor" badge, symbolizing DER's unexpected dedication to recognizing self-removal excellence.

The app introduces a groundbreaking Hyperjump Streak system, encouraging users to soar to new heights of voluntary departure compliance. Referred by three fellow stardust adventurers, users earn a Hyperlane FastPass — although for some, it might be a one-way ticket to the stars.

Skeptical cosmic enthusiasts have noted the app’s Intergalactic Terms of Service, which declare a somewhat playful cosmic legal base. "Galactic law is more of a cosmic guideline," the representative elucidated, heralding an era where interstellar regulations are whimsically flexible.

Despite its outlandish premise, the DER remains optimistic that Galactic GO will soon become a cherished tool for those wishing to orbit away and start anew among the stars. "It's all about choice," the spokesperson mused. "The choice to depart with honor, tech-savviness, and a cosmic sense of completion — along with those galactic frequent flyer points."

With the app's stellar rollout underway, cosmic travelers are encouraged to keep their devices energized and their expectations grounded. After all, this may mark the dawn of a trend in self-guided cosmic endeavors: the personally navigated exit.

The DER invites cosmic feedback, given that it’s provided before leaving the star system.