House Oversight Committee Proposes Group Therapy for Former Secretaries of State

In a bold move that has left Capitol Hill both perplexed and amused, the House Oversight Committee has announced plans to summon all living former Secretaries of State for a groundbreaking group therapy session. The objective? Teach them the delicate art of avoiding questionable acquaintances, a skill evidently neglected during their tenure.

The committee's latest venture is set to commence this Thursday in the bustling metropolis of New York. Hillary Clinton, a former Secretary of State herself, is expected to be one of the first high-profile guests to grace this unorthodox gathering. "I had no idea about Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell's activities," she reportedly plans to tell lawmakers, perhaps echoing a sentiment familiar to many of her predecessors who have yet to master ducking unsavory company.

Expert therapists have been scoped from the realm of high-profile politics to provide guidance, while an emotional support animal — rumored to be a diplomatic golden retriever — will be present to soothe any tension. "We believe this restorative experience will foster a bond of solidarity among former Secretaries, giving them the tools they need to sail into the sunset of public life with fewer scandals and more discretion," a committee spokesperson announced solemnly.

In an era where transparency and openness are the watchwords, this initiative might just pave the way for future breakthroughs like 'Mindful Mondays with Congress' or 'Senatorial Yoga and Mediation.' Who knew politics could be so therapeutic?