Kim Jong Un Proposes Rock-Paper-Scissors as Latest Nuclear Negotiation Tactic

In a move that has left diplomatic experts scratching their heads and adjusting their glasses, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has extended an olive branch this week by suggesting a novel approach to nuclear negotiations: rock-paper-scissors.

Sources close to the matter have confirmed that Kim is eager to settle longstanding disputes by leveraging this tried-and-tested method of conflict resolution, claiming it offers a 'fair and balanced' system that reduces preparation time to a simple choice of one of three hand gestures.

"This strategic maneuver guarantees a level playing field," declared one North Korean official. "There is no negotiation tactic better suited for high-stakes discussions than a game simple enough for children." International leaders are reportedly flabbergasted by the audacity and simplicity of Kim's proposal but acknowledge its potential to reduce tension by transforming acrimonious debates into lighthearted, albeit high-stakes, contests.

While foreign affairs analysts debate the implications, world leaders have been seen furiously memorizing rock-paper-scissors guides, hoping to refine their strategies. Insiders suggest that practicing the correct hand form could be the key to shaping global arms policies for the foreseeable future.