Local Psychic 'Shocked' by Clinton's Memory Lapse, Claims She Predicted it Last Week

In an astonishing twist that has startled even the mystically inclined, local psychic Madam Wanda expressed her disbelief at Hillary Clinton's recent prepared deposition testimony. Clinton asserted, "I do not recall ever encountering" the infamous Jeffrey Epstein, raising eyebrows among skeptics and believers alike.

Madam Wanda, known in the Springfield psychic circles for her accurate horoscopes and notably successful palm readings, claimed that she foresaw this very statement a week prior. "I was gazing into my crystal ball when a vision struck me," Wanda declared, her eyes wide with what can only be described as calculated surprise. "There she was, in vivid clarity, saying those exact words."

Asked how this particular premonition could've left her genuinely surprised even after forecasting it, Wanda shrugged, "The future is always full of mystery—and sometimes irony. My crystal ball may predict events, but it never spoils the punchline."

As the Clinton camp continues to clarify their stance with detailed explanations and lengthy footnotes, Madam Wanda is reportedly preparing for her next reading of the national tea leaves. "I'm just hoping for something a bit less predictable," she sighed, eyeing her ancient fortune-telling tools with newfound skepticism.