World Economic Forum Introduces Groundbreaking New Job Title: Chief Executive of Not Hanging Out with Jeffrey Epstein
A revolutionary role designed to inspire confidence and avoid brunch faux pas

"The candidate we seek will possess exceptional skills in discernment, discretion, and discerning discretion."
In a surprising turn of strategic innovation, the World Economic Forum has announced the creation of an unprecedented executive position titled "Chief Executive of Not Hanging Out with Jeffrey Epstein." This groundbreaking initiative, circulated shortly after Børge Brende's decision to step down, aims to bolster the Forum's commitment to avoiding brunches in questionable company.
According to an insider, this role will come equipped with a detailed anti-social calendar, which helpfully notifies the CEO of all the parties, galas, and islands to eschew at all costs. With an enticing compensation package reportedly featuring decimals in all the right places, the job is set to attract high-caliber executives potentially interested in spending their weekends at more conventional gatherings like family picnics and volunteer clean-up drives.
"We believe this position will set a new precedent in corporate leadership," stated a WEF spokesperson. "The candidate we seek will possess exceptional skills in discernment, discretion, and discerning discretion."
Experts anticipate that other organizations may soon follow suit, considering innovative measures such as the "Vice President of Not Getting Invited to Shady Yachts" and the "Director of Selective Networking." As corporate titles continue to evolve, one can only imagine what the future holds for the multitasking executive.
"This bold move shows a real commitment to the sort of non-association we've all been longing for," commented a leading business analyst. "Maybe now we can all relax during cocktail hours at Davos."
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