Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Sixers Announce New Head of Basketball Operations: Three Children in a Trench Coat

Revolutionary 'Process 2.0' Allegedly Fueled by Snacks

In an unprecedented move likely to shake the foundations of professional sports management, the Philadelphia 76ers have announced the termination of Daryl Morey from his position as head of basketball operations. Taking his place is an equally unconventional figure: a stack of three children, cleverly disguised in an oversized trench coat and armed with a binder labeled "Process 2.0 Now With Snacks."

Filed by Multiple Contributors|5h ago

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

Vikings Fans Outraged Over New Schedule; Fields, Wings, and Anonymity Dominate 2026 Season

NFL's intrigue-driven location choices spark widespread discontent

Minnesota|Assembled Collaboratively|5h ago

Philadelphia Fans Hold Cheesesteak-Inspired Rally to Defend City's Sports Honor

Josh Hart faced with barrage of soft pretzels in passionate display of Philadelphia's culinary weaponry

Philadelphia, PA|Assembled Collaboratively|2d ago

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Top Story

Sixers Announce New Head of Basketball Operations: Three Children in a Trench Coat

Most Read

Senate Whistleblower Hearing Reveals Pandemic Was Bread War Gone Awry

Famous Mogul Proposes 'The Really Great Wall' Rebranding in Bizarro Beijing Visit

Cookie Popup Engulfs Entire Website, Users Surrender to Privacy Policy

Editor's Picks

High School Hall Pass System More Complex Than Airport Security

Elusive Letter 'E' Declares Independence from Alphabet

New App Aims to Stop Scrolling, Ends Up in Infinite Scroll Itself

Local Desk

Vikings Fans Outraged Over New Schedule; Fields, Wings, and Anonymity Dominate 2026 Season

Philadelphia Fans Hold Cheesesteak-Inspired Rally to Defend City's Sports Honor

Corporate Synergy Finally Achieved; Entire Office Oblivious

Local Gas Station Owner Holds Candlelit Vigil for Profit Margins

Fresh Off The Press

Golden Knights' Overtime Goal So Beautiful, Ducks File Missing Persons Report on Win Probability

Local Scooters Form Elaborate Migration Pattern, Baffle Scientists

FEMA Introduces 'Disaster Relief Yoga' to Keep Grounded Responders Flexible

Schools Mandate 'Success Sequence' Classes Featuring Entrepreneurial Drought Lemonade Stands

Justice Department Declares Nationwide Scavenger Hunt for Missing Epstein File Pages