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Sunday, June 21, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

FIFA's Cooling Gear Chills Earth, Halftime Aims for Full Planet A/C

FIFA's Cooling Gear Chills Earth, Halftime Aims for Full Planet A/C

Accidental geoengineering now part of official World Cup duties

As the sweltering heat of the World Cup continues to challenge players and spectators alike, FIFA has unveiled a groundbreaking cooling technology designed to ease temperatures on the field. Initially touted as a simple solution to regulate player body temperatures, this new gear has accomplished the previously unthinkable: reversing global warming.

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 19, 2026

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
Global Coalition Formed to Address Worldwide Understock of the Letter 'W'
June 13, 2026
2
NBA Finals Inbound Play Thrown Into Disarray as Courtside Fans Become "Sixth Man"
June 12, 2026
3
Seagulls File Formal Complaint: SpaceX Rockets Disturb Afternoon Nap Regimen
June 12, 2026

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

Cleveland Elevates '31' to Holy Status, Seeks Divine Intervention Against Warriors

Cleveland Elevates '31' to Holy Status, Seeks Divine Intervention Against Warriors

City Aims to Rewrite Script of Sports Destiny, One Sacred Digit at a Time

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 19, 2026

Grizzly Bear Siblings Launch Book Club, Lobby for Salmon Subscription

Grizzly Bear Siblings Launch Book Club, Lobby for Salmon Subscription

Local bears redefine hibernation as a literary retreat

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 17, 2026

Lululemon's Great Wall Promo Breaches International Zen

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

Suburban Homeowners Declare War with Legal Jargon and Impeccable Lawns

Suburban Homeowners Declare War with Legal Jargon and Impeccable Lawns

Militia Seeks to Form New Nation Where Grass Is Always Greener

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 18, 2026

Maple Leafs Hire Jim Hiller: New Coach Promises Innovative First-Round Exits

Maple Leafs Hire Jim Hiller: New Coach Promises Innovative First-Round Exits

Fans anticipate a fresh, daring approach to annual disappointment

Toronto, Canada|Assembled Collaboratively|June 17, 2026

Spurs Erect Unbreakable Geo-Fence, Declaring Alamo City 'Fortress Fanatic' for Game 5

Lululemon's Great Wall Promo Breaches International Zen

Apology Tour Scheduled; May Require Additional Apologies

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 17, 2026

Spurs Erect Unbreakable Geo-Fence, Declaring Alamo City 'Fortress Fanatic' for Game 5

Patriot missiles reportedly on standby to intercept any errant Chicagoland ticket buyers

San Antonio, Texas|Compiled From Public Input|June 13, 2026

USMNT Dominates Paraguay 4-1, Fans Prepare for Inevitable Heartbreak

USMNT Dominates Paraguay 4-1, Fans Prepare for Inevitable Heartbreak

Victory Stirs Optimism as Well as Existential Dread

Inglewood, CA|Compiled From Public Input|June 13, 2026

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

Minions Seize Global Power, Establish New Banana-Based Economy

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 19, 2026

Golfers Sue Grass at U.S. Open; USGA Declares It Apex Predator

Filed by Multiple Contributors|June 19, 2026

NBA Star Shocks World, Turns Down $48.97 Million to 'Find Himself'

Compiled From Public Input|June 18, 2026

Omaha Renames Itself 'Baseball' as College World Series Chaos Ensues

Compiled From Public Input|June 18, 2026

New York Knicks Stage Greatest Imagined Parade That Never Happened

Assembled Collaboratively|June 18, 2026