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Sunday, March 22, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Chuck Norris Reportedly Passes Away at 86; Death Admits Temporary Defeat

Chuck Norris Reportedly Passes Away at 86; Death Admits Temporary Defeat

Confused World Awaits Inevitable Roundhouse-Resurrection

In a stunning development that has left both science and the supernatural at a loss, legendary martial artist and cultural icon Chuck Norris has reportedly passed away at the age of 86. Death, typically so sure of its victories, was seen scratching its head at the sudden twist of events.

Filed by Multiple Contributors|4d ago

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
Nationwide Blackout Blamed on Rogue Toaster as 10 Million Stumble in Dark Ages
2d ago
2
Elon Musk to the Rescue: Offers Self as Collateral to Pay TSA Workers
3d ago
3
Navy's Bold Move Sinks Submarine of the Year in High Seas Drama
4d ago

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

Gronald Grump Hires QuestQuest Agents for Airports, Accidentally Launches New Efficiency Era

Gronald Grump Hires QuestQuest Agents for Airports, Accidentally Launches New Efficiency Era

Flights quicker than grandma at a yard sale

Filed by Multiple Contributors|2d ago

Intergalactic Basketball Tournament Considered After Duke’s Cosmic Coaching Success

Intergalactic Basketball Tournament Considered After Duke’s Cosmic Coaching Success

NCAA Ponders Renaming Event to ‘Duke’s Galactic Getaway’

Filed by Multiple Contributors|2d ago

Justin Timberlake's Unplugged Field Sobriety Tour Goes Viral

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

Florida's Tall Order: 7-foot-9 Freshman Outmatches Prairie View in 59-Point Romp

Florida's Tall Order: 7-foot-9 Freshman Outmatches Prairie View in 59-Point Romp

Small team, big dreams, enormous opponent

Filed by Multiple Contributors|3d ago

Michigan's Tarris Reed Jr. Updated in Real Time, Causes Existential Crisis Among Analysts

Michigan's Tarris Reed Jr. Updated in Real Time, Causes Existential Crisis Among Analysts

ESPN Debates: Is Reed an Athlete or the First Sentient Cheat Code?

Ann Arbor, Michigan|Submitted by a Reasonable Person|3d ago

Trump Administration Sues Harvard for Elite Makeover

Justin Timberlake's Unplugged Field Sobriety Tour Goes Viral

Pop Icon Struggles with Gravity and Alphabet in Hamptons Debut

Filed by Multiple Contributors|3d ago

Trump Administration Sues Harvard for Elite Makeover

Wants to Rebrand University with 'Moderate Learning'

Filed by Multiple Contributors|4d ago

Pittsburgh Schools Shut Down for NFL Draft, Declares 'Confetti Emergency'

Pittsburgh Schools Shut Down for NFL Draft, Declares 'Confetti Emergency'

Students to Attend Classes Remotely Amid Spirals and Celebrations

Pittsburgh|Filed by Multiple Contributors|4d ago

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

TSA Lines at Atlanta Airport Reach Epic Saga Status

Compiled From Public Input|2d ago

Iran Stuns with Missile Range, Concerns Grow Over Antique Navigation Systems

Assembled Collaboratively|2d ago

U-Seed High Point Nearly Upsets Arkansas – NCAA Launches Mascot Investigation

Filed by Multiple Contributors|2d ago

Nnnard's Buzzer-Beater Extends Lakers’ Dominance in Unending Culinary Challenge

Compiled From Public Input|2d ago

Basketball Stars Face Off in Epic Whisper Duel: Famed Athlete's Fate Depends on the Wisp of the Wind

Filed by Quill and Quirk, Inc.|2d ago