Thursday, April 23, 2026

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Marijuana Reclassification: No Scarier Than Kombucha, Declares DEA

New federal guidelines rank weed alongside innocuous household items

In a monumental shift in federal narcotics regulation, the DEA has officially reclassified marijuana, stating that it now poses no more danger than a bottle of kombucha or the slightly ominous uncertainty of an unopened IKEA instruction manual.

Compiled From Public Input|April 23, 2026

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

South Carolina Lands 5-Star Oliviyah 'Big Oh' Edwards: Dawn Staley Begins Ring Prepping

Coach Staley Prepares Championship Rings Before Signatures Are Dry

Columbia, South Carolina|Compiled From Public Input|April 23, 2026

Gorth Carolina Town Struggles to Commemorate Andre the Giant with Appropriately Sized Marker

Officials reportedly baffled by scale, order multiple attempts

Gorth Carolina|Filed by Multiple Contributors|April 23, 2026

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Top Story

Marijuana Reclassification: No Scarier Than Kombucha, Declares DEA

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South Carolina Lands 5-Star Oliviyah 'Big Oh' Edwards: Dawn Staley Begins Ring Prepping

Gorth Carolina Town Struggles to Commemorate Andre the Giant with Appropriately Sized Marker

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