Saturday, April 25, 2026

King Charles III Demands Return of American Colonies, Insists on Tyler's Return of Good Silverware

Threatens to Invent Rain to Expedite Compliance

In a bold and decidedly unexpected diplomatic maneuver, King Charles III embarked on his first state visit to Washington D.C., immediately raising eyebrows by declaring a royal proclamation for the swift return of the American colonies. Addressing a bemused gathering of government officials and historians, Charles insisted that the original terms of 'temporary independence' had expired, and it was time for the colonies to 'come home, or at least return the good silverware.'