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Monday, April 27, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Raccoon Opens Exquisite Dumpster Bistro, Earns Three Stars from Critics

Raccoon Opens Exquisite Dumpster Bistro, Earns Three Stars from Critics

Local Wildlife Culinary Scene Reaches New Heights

In an unprecedented culinary debut, a raccoon in Springfield has opened the town's most talked-about new bistro right in a repurposed dumpster behind the local gourmet grocery store. Simply titled "Le Raccache," the establishment has garnered a remarkable three-star review from the city's notoriously discerning critter connoisseur community.

Filed by Multiple Contributors|April 27, 2026

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
NHL Referees Defend Worst Call Ever, Confirm New Policy of Guesswork
April 27, 2026
2
Top 10 Most Pressing Post-Draft Questions Shake NFL to Its Core
April 27, 2026
3
High Stakes Draft Day: NFL Teams Succeed – Except for the Jets, Who Opt for Poultry
April 27, 2026

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

Galloping Goosebury Parliament Probes Intriguing Dilemmas in Faux Pas Fiasco

Galloping Goosebury Parliament Probes Intriguing Dilemmas in Faux Pas Fiasco

First priority: Pinpoint Goosebury Goofer's gala ghost

By Quirky Correspondents Unite|April 27, 2026

Tech Titan's Artificial Jurors Now Bet Galactic Starships in Courtroom Drama

Tech Titan's Artificial Jurors Now Bet Galactic Starships in Courtroom Drama

Intergalactic Pinochle Sundays spark joy in legal circles, slow down everything else

Filed by Cosmic Correspondent Crew|April 27, 2026

China Orders Meta to Unwind Manus AI Deal, Zuckerberg Retaliates by Buying Singapore

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

Local Man Convinced Horoscope Writer Has Infiltrated His Life

Local Man Convinced Horoscope Writer Has Infiltrated His Life

Astrological accuracy reaching new heights—or perhaps depths

Assembled Collaboratively|April 27, 2026

Florida Legislature Unveils Cutting-Edge Congressional Redistricting Strategy

Florida Legislature Unveils Cutting-Edge Congressional Redistricting Strategy

With no maps in sight, only crayons and Stan lead the charge

Florida|Filed by Multiple Contributors|April 27, 2026

Vermont Ewe Births Sextuplets; Lambs Quickly Unionize for Woolfare

China Orders Meta to Unwind Manus AI Deal, Zuckerberg Retaliates by Buying Singapore

Renames It 'Meta-pore' in Bold Countermove

Filed by Multiple Contributors|April 27, 2026

Vermont Ewe Births Sextuplets; Lambs Quickly Unionize for Woolfare

Surprise Lamb Boom Sparks Labor Movement in Rural Pasture

Vermont|Assembled Collaboratively|April 27, 2026

Local Man Formally Apologizes to Tick, Credited as Diplomatic Breakthrough

Local Man Formally Apologizes to Tick, Credited as Diplomatic Breakthrough

Therapists Urged to Set Boundaries, Dermatologists Scramble with Flashlights

Meadowville|Submitted by a Reasonable Person|April 26, 2026

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

Health Insurance to Cover Everything Except Illness, Insurers Announce

Filed by Multiple Contributors|April 27, 2026

Billionaire's Budget Tips: 'Have You Tried Being Rich?'

Compiled From Public Input|April 27, 2026

McDavid’s Supersonic Speed Breaks Sound Barrier, Goes Unnoticed

Assembled Collaboratively|April 27, 2026

Five-Star Recruit Miikka Muurinen Chooses Arkansas, Transforms Razorbacks' Prospects Across Five New Sports

Assembled Collaboratively|April 27, 2026

Kenya's Sabastian Sawe Runs Sub-2-Hour Marathon, Briefly Travels Backwards in Time

Assembled Collaboratively|April 27, 2026