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Thursday, May 7, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Apple Settles $95-Per-iPhone AI Lawsuit, Admits Siri Was Three Interns in a Trench Coat

Apple Settles $95-Per-iPhone AI Lawsuit, Admits Siri Was Three Interns in a Trench Coat

Tech giant confesses that artificial intelligence is only as good as human stacking skills

In a stunning resolution to a tumultuous legal journey, Apple has agreed to settle an unprecedented class action lawsuit by paying $95 to owners of each iPhone sold since 2011. The settlement comes in the wake of a whistleblower's revelation that the sophisticated AI system known as Siri was, in fact, three college interns standing on top of each other while shouting answers through a carefully designed Solo cup.

Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
NCAA Expands March Madness to 76 Teams; Adds Pity Bracket for Schools with Heartbroken Mascots
6d ago
2
Cubs Defy Odds With 14 Straight Wins Using Unconventional Methods
6d ago
3
China's Sentences for Defense Ministers Now Suspended in Mid-Air, Generating Aerial Traffic Hazards
6d ago

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

New Law Mandates All Legislation Be Written in Haiku Form

New Law Mandates All Legislation Be Written in Haiku Form

Lawmakers Embrace Brevity and Meter Over Legal Jargon

Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

DHS Pledges Pacific-to-Gulf Border Wall; Cartographers Break Out Crayons

DHS Pledges Pacific-to-Gulf Border Wall; Cartographers Break Out Crayons

A colorful commitment to national security

Assembled Collaboratively|6d ago

Renovation Blunder: Government Shocked to Find Cosmic Building Already Exists

Renovation Blunder: Government Shocked to Find Cosmic Building Already Exists

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

Mayor Mamdani Champions 'Snowball Diplomacy' to Settle City Disputes

Mayor Mamdani Champions 'Snowball Diplomacy' to Settle City Disputes

Proposes Dodgeball Match with NYPD to Cool Tensions

New York City|Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Local Matchmakers Launch Program Pairing Singles with Politicians Obsessed with Trading Secrets

Local Matchmakers Launch Program Pairing Singles with Politicians Obsessed with Trading Secrets

Finding love through mutual interests in 'non-public information'

Local Town, USA|Assembled Collaboratively|6d ago

Local Diner's Tuna Melt Now a Financial Odyssey

Bureaucratic explorers confront the color spectrum's audacity

Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Local Diner's Tuna Melt Now a Financial Odyssey

Surcharge Evolution Transforms Casual Lunch into Economic Seminar

[City]|Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Local Ice Rink Initiates 'Invite Only' Policy to Combat Global Warming

Local Ice Rink Initiates 'Invite Only' Policy to Combat Global Warming

Move inspired by dialogue on presidential invites and gender in sports

Smalltown|Filed by Multiple Contributors|May 6, 2026

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

King Harald Chooses Hospital Bed as New Throne

Assembled Collaboratively|6d ago

Norway's King Harald Brokers Peace Between Feuding Tapas Bars

Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Mayor Mamdani Launches 'Snowball Diplomacy' to Thaw Police Relations

Compiled From Public Input|6d ago

City Declares Snowball Fights as Official Civic Engagement Strategy

Filed by Multiple Contributors|6d ago

Study Finds Politicians' Stock Portfolios More Passionate Than Their Love Lives

Assembled Collaboratively|6d ago