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Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Top Story

Selected by general agreement

Top 10 Reasons the Strait of Hormuz Must Immediately Be Renamed 'Trump Strait'

Top 10 Reasons the Strait of Hormuz Must Immediately Be Renamed 'Trump Strait'

Leaked State Department Memo Sparks International Waterworks – Including a Melting Professor

In what may be the most pressing diplomatic initiative of the decade, an astonishingly persuasive "leaked" memo from the State Department outlines a ten-point plan to rename the Strait of Hormuz to "Trump Strait." Proponents insist the renaming is essential for increasing global stability, enabling aspirant slogans, and providing navigational clarity.

Assembled Collaboratively|September 2, 2026

Most Read

Popular, for reasons

1
Top 10 Fantasy Football Injury Updates That Leave Managers More Confused Than Ever
September 2, 2026
2
Top 10 Signs a 41-Year-Old NBA Legend Is Still Dominating Offseason Pickup Runs
September 2, 2026
3
Little League Game Heroically Enters 47th Inning as Snack Bars Run Dry
September 2, 2026

Editor's Picks

Chosen algorithmically, without deliberation

Olympic Gymnast Sparks Gold Rush with Diamond Grills, Launching Dental Bling Frenzy

Olympic Gymnast Sparks Gold Rush with Diamond Grills, Launching Dental Bling Frenzy

IOC Scrambles to Keep up with Sparkling Standards

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

Stan Kroenke Buys Angels, Begins Trading Players Against Himself

Stan Kroenke Buys Angels, Begins Trading Players Against Himself

League Quietly Renames Itself 'Kroenke Conference' Amid Confusion

Assembled Collaboratively|September 2, 2026

Scam Artists Honored at Gala, Nigerian Prince Wins Lifetime Achievement Award

Local Desk

Filed nearby by someone

City Plunges into Chaos as New York Point Guard Refuses 'King' Title

City Plunges into Chaos as New York Point Guard Refuses 'King' Title

Wild race ensues as eleven unlikely contenders vie for vacant New York throne

New York City, NY|Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

H2-Oh No! RoboTown’s New Data Center Causes Water Woes

H2-Oh No! RoboTown’s New Data Center Causes Water Woes

Sprawling server farm leaves townsfolk thirstier than a camel at a desert disco

RoboTown|Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

New York City’s AI Crackdown: Hall Monitors Patrol for Rogue Em-Dashes

Scam Artists Honored at Gala, Nigerian Prince Wins Lifetime Achievement Award

Keynote speech turns out to be phishing scam

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

New York City’s AI Crackdown: Hall Monitors Patrol for Rogue Em-Dashes

City schools return to the nostalgic glow of overhead projectors

New York City|Compiled From Public Input|September 2, 2026

Local Man Declares Himself Official Representative of the Moon

Local Man Declares Himself Official Representative of the Moon

Cites His Extensive Collection of Cheese as Credential

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

Fresh Off The Press

Recently published, wholly unverified

Nationwide Fan Frenzy: Philippines Declares Holiday for Every Serve of Tennis Star

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

Annual Golfer Poised to Outplay Daily Enthusiast Despite Physical Ailments

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

NBA Star Requests Record Information, Inspires Restraining Order From Record Itself

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026

Epic US Open Marathon Leaves Fans, Ball Kids, and Vocabulary in Exhaustion

Submitted by a Reasonable Person|September 2, 2026

US Open Match Completely Overshadowed by Girlfriend's 'I Love My Boyfriend' Shirt

Filed by Multiple Contributors|September 2, 2026